


Lemme Smash

by AstrixAura



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, I'm not tagging EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER unless someone else wants to, Implied/Referenced Sex, Memes, Mild Language, Multi, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Relationships May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-09-17 17:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16978833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstrixAura/pseuds/AstrixAura
Summary: Master Hand finally remembers to add the Inklings to the official Smash Tournament Group Chat.Chaos ensues.





	1. Is Same

**Author's Note:**

> The user list can now be found [ HERE!! ](https://astro-aura.tumblr.com/post/181142272231/the-user-list-of-my-smash-bros-fic-as-requested)

**mrhand added inkling(f) and inkling(m) to Lemme Smash**

 

inkling(f): W—

inkling(f): THERE'S A GROUP CHAT????

mrhand: Yeah, I forgot to add you, sorry.

inkling(m): well that makes sense now

inkling(m): i mean you gave us these communicators and then just left???

issame: @mrhand How do you mess that up??? 

mrhand: Ok, LISTEN,

mrhand: I HAVE TO RUN THE SMASH MANSION. DON’T BLAME ME.

theyrenotpants: hackedjdHGbdozmHdj

inkling(f): uhh what was that

inkling(m): how do we see who’s who anyway

mrhand: If you tap the tab in the corner, it shows the user list of the channel you are in.

inkling(m): cool

inkling(m): ???? what’s up with the names

theyrenotpants: Most of them are inside jokes

theyrenotpants: @waterisnotwet Please stop stealing my comm when you have your own

waterisnotwet: :P but it’s fun

theyrenotpants: Yeah whatever

inkling(f):

inkling(m):

 

**inkling(f) changed their name to agentyee**

**inkling(m) changed their name to booyah**

 

agentyee: ?? why can’t we type capitals in our name

jazzhand: lmao we actually dont know

issame: It IS annoying, I have to say...

booyah: “is same”?

issame: ISSA ME, MARIO!!!

agentyee: oooohhhhhh

nutsalt: Ah, welcome to the chat, little ones!!

booyah: JDJDHSHBDJDJS

agentyee: NUTSALT?!?!

youlionbruh: ha, thank me and @justthetip for that one

nutsalt: Hmmph.

justthetip: Did one call me?

justthetip: Oh, yes, hahahah

hyliannoyed: dont mind his broken english. he just learned how to speak recently.

youlionbruh: me also!!

roundnedgy: marth only speaking japanese for the past couple of years...

roundnedgy: it was quite

roundnedgy: unique... when we were traveling through subspace

fightsforfriends: i will always remember the tale of three swordsmen

weegeeboard: i really wish we would forgetti

dededeeznuts: I SAID SORRY!!!

agentyee: —?

brrringhaeh: don’t worry about it

booyah: yo, yosh, uhh what’s with that name..?

triangles: have you HEARD him fight??

booyah: not yet but i was planning to! @brrringhaeh wanna team up?

brrringhaeh: sure, never fought with a squid before!

heyiceuphere: in that case why don’t you two go against me and @icestoleyourboo ;P

icestoleyourboo: pfft we can take THREE @agentyee

agentyee: HA

agentyee: DONT GET TOO COCKY THERE, WE’LL PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACES

heyiceuphere: TRY US

 

**Now in a private channel with @icestoleyourboo**

 

heyiceuphere: nice

icestoleyourboo: nice

heyiceuphere: 2 problems tho:

heyiceuphere: 1, we’re outnumbered. 2, we’ll probably be too distracted by the inklings to fight properly :/

icestoleyourboo: welp

icestoleyourboo: worth tho

heyiceuphere:u right, u right

icestoleyourboo: gods theyre both so—

heyiceuphere: c o o l

heyiceuphere: welp let’s hope we dont die too hard :/

icestoleyourboo: rip us, too bisexual for our own goods

 

**Now in a private channel with @booyah**

 

agentyee: dont break the climbers faces too hard, nana’s got a cute thing going on, tbh

booyah: popo may or may not have already gotten my heart, tbh

booyah: we should see their cute efforts to get us

agentyee: mmm... what about yoshi tho?

booyah: dw i got this

...

 

brrringhaeh: @heyiceuphere @icestoleyourboo @agentyee @booyah sorry, i have to skip the match this time around, i got classic mode duty...

booyah: no problem, dude, next time :)

 

**Now in a private channel with @brrringhaeh**

 

heyiceuphere: thanks, dude!! you’re the best! and thanks from nana, too

brrringhaeh:

brrringhaeh: sure

heyiceuphere:

brrringhaeh:

heyiceuphere:

brrringhaeh: have fun flirting with a squid

heyiceuphere: FBSKXIJSNS W—


	2. Gen Zucc

 

**hokay added agentyee and booyahyeet to Gen Zucc**

 

agentyee: omg there’s more channels...

hokay: yyepp

pkbutter: hiiiii

booyah: OH WHADDUP IT’S LUCAS AND NESS

koopakiddo: hell yeah, more peeps!!!

heyiceuphere: niiice

icestoleyourboo: lit

imrednotash: yo

basiclyimonkey: wassup

ocarino: hey

windntrains: peace

catchthesehands: heyyy~

shellowhodis: ayyy

bringbackvine: cool

deadpool: yeah!

prekachu: hello!!!

agentyee: omg

agentyee: i thought the smash tournaments were filled with cold blooded fighters, but everyone’s sweet ig???!!

pkbutter: welllll..

booyah: hm?

imrednotash: wario

hokay: yeah nobody here really likes him that much

hokay: @pkbutter dont worry, i’ll stay by your side no matter what~

pkbutter: <3

hokay: <3

booyah: !

hokay: yeah we gay, keep scrolling >:)

agentyee: dont worry, @booyah has the big gay too

booyah: YOU DO TOO LMAO???

agentyee: and what about it~

koopakiddo: @heyiceuphere @icestoleyourboo i heard screaming yall good?

heyiceuphere: big spider

icestoleyourboo: lol yep

basiclyimonkey: has anyone seen falco?

ocarino: i think he’s in the lounge. Why?

basiclyimonkey: bc i wanted to give him back his shirt

agentyee: wait why do u have his shirt???

basiclyimonkey:

basiclyimonkey: i’ll leave this one to you guys, b Y E

agentyee: W a i T, i—

agentyee: explain

deadpool: let’s just say being below falco’s room isn’t fun sometimes

prekachu: yeah, im right next to falco’s room, and i cant sleep sometimes when diddy yells too loud :((

prekachu: i dont even know why diddy’s in there in the first place

agentyee:

booyah:

booyah: isnt falco like an adult and diddy is... younger?

bringbackvine: actually, diddy’s, like, 19 in human years

booyah: WHAT

booyah: HE LOOKS LIKE

booyah: IDK, 13 OR SOMETHING

hokay: THATS WHAT I SAID

bringbackvine: yeah it’s been, what?

bringbackvine: at most 8 smash years since the brawl tournament when we met, so...

bringbackvine: :/

deadpool: :/

hokay: :/

pkbutter: wait hold on

pkbutter: @hokay it’s really been around 7 smash years??

hokay: yeah babe <3

pkbutter: whoa <3

hokay: <3

agentyee: wait what are smash years

ocarino: we all think it’s a year in the smash tournaments’ universe since different timelines and worlds have different speeds, i’m guessing

shellowhodis: pretty sure master hand said that the tournaments take place in a

shellowhodis: whats it called

shellowhodis: something like “timeline in the middle of everything”

ocarino: it’s confusing even for me

ocarino: and i’m like

ocarino: the hero of time

booyah: yeah we knew that somehow traveled to a “different time”

booyah: i mean humans have been extinct for like centuries

hokay: they fucking what

booyah: so seeing a bunch of humans for the first time really caught us off guard

agentyee: yeAH IM STILL HAUNTED BY THAT IMAGE OF ALL OF YALL IN SHADOWS IN FRONT OF A GIANT BURNING SMASH LOGO

agentyee: IT LITERALLY BURNED MY RETINA

agentyee: I CAN SEE THE LOGO WHEN IN MY EYE WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR

basiclyimonkey: definitely worth the hype tho

agentyee: u right

booyah: @basiclyimonkey TELL US ABOUT YOU AND FALCO

heyiceuphere: YES I LOVE THIS STORY

basiclyimonkey: ugggh

basiclyimonkey: it’s not that great, guys

bringbackvine: it’s pretty damn good

basiclyimonkey: heheh yeah

 

agentyee: ...?

basiclyimonkey: oh shoot sorry i got lost in thought

basiclyimonkey: i pretty much got really attatched to him during and after subspace

basiclyimonkey: he was annoyed at first but over time, falco started to open up

basiclyimonkey: i would see more of his smirk when he heard me laugh at his jokes

basiclyimonkey: one day, we were alone in the cafe just hanging and talking

basiclyimonkey: i was kinda down that day but he made my lungs weak from laughter like he always does

basiclyimonkey: he says “i sure know how to light up your day, huh?”

basiclyimonkey: i, high af off being next to him, mutter “you light up my entire life, actually”

agentyee: yyOOOOOO

basiclyimonkey: and so i try to laugh it off and look away for a bit

basiclyimonkey: AND THE MOMENT I TRY TO FACE HIM

basiclyimonkey: HE KISSES ME

basiclyimonkey: IM STUCK

basiclyimonkey: and then i kiss back

basiclyimonkey: and now we’ve dated for 6 and a half smash years

booyah: aaaAAAAAAAAFJDJSKDKSH

hokay: @pkbutter u good? you’re crying again

pkbutter: LET ME CRY YOU’RE CRYING TOO

hokay: I KNOW, I LOVE THIS STORYJDJDKSKNDND

windntrains: @koopakiddo hey can you dry my tears with your fire breath thanks

koopakiddo: omw, boo

agentyee: —

agentyee: wait dont tell me

icestoleyourboo: yeah a lot of people in the tournament are in relationships

agentyee: you’re kidding

agentyee: i just want a big hearty heart gf

icestoleyourboo: same

booyah: i need a man X’(

heyiceuphere: mood

ocarino:

 

ocarino: okay

 

**Now in a private channel with @whatisaidin2013**

 

birb: hey thanks for saving my bf from a flying snake dragon

whatisaidin2013: Falco, I stg this is the only thing you thank me for and you thank me every other day

whatisaidin2013: What did Diddy do this time?

birb: do i need a reason?

whatisaidin2013:

whatisaidin2013: Well at least SOMEONE has tamed you—

birb: HEY


	3. PP Presentation

 

**Now in Poké Poké Smash Club**

 

nutsalt: Who wants to join me in my Classic Route?!?

nutsalt: Master Hand told me that I have to team up!

waterisnotwet: ehh, why not

waterisnotwet: i have nothing better to do anyway

nutsalt: Thank you, friend!~

 

**Now in a private channel with @waterisnotwet**

 

theyrenotpants: Dont get too distracted, you thirsty frog

waterisnotwet: you’re one to talk

waterisnotwet: i’ve seen your tail wag when incineroar leaves

theyrenotpants: Oh, shush

theyrenotpants: Hope you both win, though <3

waterisnotwet: fjdjsjjdjdjdj

waterisnotwet: <3 ;p

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

sanic: @mrhand WHY THE HELL IS CRUEL SMASH A THING

mrhand: If you can’t handle it, then don’t do it.

sanic: I C A N HANDLE IT

sanic: I JUST

 

deadpool: bro stop throwing your comm

deadpool: this is like the 10th time i had to catch it with quick attack

deadpool: i don’t have enough pp for this

agentyee: LMFAO DHJDJS

agentyee: YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH WHAT??

deadpool: UGGGHH

kingdragon: power points

me2: Power Points

theyrenotpants: Power points

bringbackvine: power points

letmerest: power points~

imrednotash: Power points

catchthesehands: THAT’S WHAT IT STANDS FOR???

imrednotash: EVERY TRAINER KNOWS THIS!!!!

booyah:

booyah: isn’t that what the ancients used for presentations?

me2:

deadpool:

prekachu:

nutsalt:

theyrenotpants:

waterisnotwet:

letmerest:

kingdragon:

bringbackvine:

shellowhodis:

booyah: :)

 

heyiceuphere:

heyiceuphere: pp presentation

_Several smashers are typing..._

 

**Now in a private channel with @heyiceuphere**

 

booyah: HDJS N I C E

heyiceuphere: GOT EM

_heyiceuphere is typing..._

 

booyah:

booyah: ?

 

heyiceuphere: nice talk

booyah: lol yeah

booyah: ttyl i guess

heyiceuphere: haha yeah

 

**Now in a private channel with @icestoleyourboo**

 

heyiceuphere: i W A N T TO DI E

icestoleyourboo: omg whAT HAPPENED

heyiceuphere: _killmepls.jpg_

icestoleyourboo: pFFFT YOURE PATHETIC

heyiceuphere: SHUT UP I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY

icestoleyourboo: BET?!?

heyiceuphere: BET

icestoleyourboo: WATCH AND LEARN BIG BRO

 

**Now in a private channel with @agentyee**

 

icestoleyourboo: heyyy girl!

agentyee: whaddup?~

icestoleyourboo: wanna grab a drink and talk?

icestoleyourboo: i remember you talking about some festival back home?

agentyee: oh hell yeah, i’m down!!!

agentyee: i’d love to talk about splatfest!

agentyee: if you want me to

icestoleyourboo: ofc i do~~

agentyee: thanks! see ya there ;)

 

**Now in a private channel with @booyah**

 

agentyee: y’know, despite being siblings, the climbers are really polar opposites

agentyee: _smoothnana.jpg_

booyah: pfft nice

booyah: well

booyah: at least popo is cute

booyah: and funny

booyah: and a hot fighter

booyah: oh shit i think i’ve fallen

agentyee: you THINK ??????

agentyee: ok im going out with nana, HAVE FUN

booyah: WAIT I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO YOU CANT JUST

 

_agentyee has gone idle_

 

booyah:

booyah: guess i’ll die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a really short chapter i’m sorry djdjsbdjjs  
> i’ll try to upload longer chapters i promise


	4. Chill, Old Man

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

rawrxd: Who the HELL is in my room??

 

**Now in Gen Zucc**

 

booyah: ABORT MISSION ABORT

booyah: @agentyee GET OUT OF THERE NOW

agentyee: ITEM RETREIVED

agentyee: HEADING BACK TO BASE

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

rawrxd: YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CANT HIDE

whatisaidin2013: Don’t kill them

rawrxd: WE’LL SEE

 

**Now in Gen Zucc**

 

icestoleyourboo: @agentyee WOLF IS GETTING CLOSER

windntrains: NO WORRIES

koopakiddo: WE’VE GOT THIS

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

rawrxd: @bigdaddy TELL YOUR DAMN CHILD TO PICK UP AFTER HIMSELF

rawrxd: HIS TOYS TRIED TO BLAST ME OUT THE MANSION

rawrxd: I WILL CATCH WHOEVER YOU ARE

rawrxd: I W I L L HUNT YOU DOWN

birb: bro

birb: chill

rawrxd: FUCK YOU

whatisaidin2013: Wait I got this

whatisaidin2013: Babe, relax~

rawrxd:

rawrxd: fine

snaaaaaake: Ha

snaaaaaake: Looks like lil’ wuffy only obeys his owner

rawrxd: shut up

rawrxd: you wouldn't know how to beat any of us in a fight without getting help from that otaku husband of yours

snaaaaaake:

otaku:

snaaaaaake: That’s fair

 

**Now in Gen Zucc**

 

agentyee: HELL YEAH

agentyee: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

smolman: What even was the point of that?

smolman: There was a high risk of that going wrong.

agentyee: @everyone come to @booyah ‘s and my room to see the s t u f f

armpit~ What kind of stuff?

booyah: she literally stole wolf’s entire satchel

agentyee: for no exact reason ;P

booyah: wait

booyah: i thought you couldn’t read?? how do you even know what we’re saying????

armpit~ HOW’D YOU KNOW?

booyah: I was watching your match with popo and nana

booyah: and then they pulled a king dedede and hammered you into the air at like 500 mph

heyiceuphere: oh yeah and then you started screaming that you never learned how to read

heyiceuphere: wait you were watching my match?

booyah:

booyah: yeah i was bored

armpit~ Well, Master Hand told me that these communicators had voice to text and vice versa.

armpit~ I think it’s shown by the little squiggly line.

agentyee~ Ooh, let me try.

agentyee: ew proper punctuation nvm

 

booyah: eW GROSS

smolman: What is happening?

booyah: there’s like

booyah: three bottles of lube

hokay: oh my god

prekachu: What would Wolf need to make so slippery anyway??

booyah:

basiclyimonkey:

hokay:

pkbutter:

heyiceuphere:

booyah: we need to give this back to wolf

booyah: uhhh @deadpool ?

deadpool: on it.

 

imrednotash:

imrednotash: DID YOU JUST DROP IT ON HIM FROM 3 STORIES HIGH

agentyee: HE MEANT GET IT BACK TO HIS ROOM

deadpool: oh

deadpool: oops

 

**Now in The OG**

 

whatisaidin2013: Poor Wolf. Found him knocked out cold

whatisaidin2013: I think he drank too much..

issame: You should take care of him.

issame:It’s gonna be bad when he wakes up.

hyliannoyed: Not as bad as my rude awakenings

hyliannoyed: Everytime I get “reborn” or whatever I literally forget everything until I win against Ganon

hyliannoyed: BUT APPARENTLY I FORGOT MY MEMORY TWICE IN THE SAME INCARNATION

whatisaidin2013: Your current incarnation and when you met that Falco look-alike and that shark prince?

hyliannoyed: Maybe so

hyliannoyed: Hylia I love them so much

notmetroid: I thought you were dating Marth

notmetroid: and Shulk

notmetroid: how many damn boyfriends do you have?!

brrringhaeh: I thought we’ve been over this already

coconutgun: yeah, link is a slut

hyliannoyed: DK!!!

brrringhaeh: I WAS GONNA SAY PLAYER BUT THAT WORKS TOO

hyliannoyed: @coconutgun well, according to Falco, so is your nephew :/

whatisaidin2013: LINK N O

hokay: JSJDJSJDJJD

notmetroid: LMAOOOO

coconutgun:

 

coconutgun: you know what?

 

**Now in Gen Zucc**

 

hokay: exposedmonkey.png

hokay: @basiclyimonkey RIPPPPP BRO

basiclyimonkey:

basiclyimonkey: i’m going to SD

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

coconutgun: @birb You. Me. 1v1. No Items. Final Destination. N o w.

birb: WH—??????

basiclyimonkey: DK NO

mrhand: Match declared!

mrhand: DONKEY KONG VS. FALCO

 

**Now in Battle Chat Broadcast**

 

mrhand~ Ready?

mrhand~ GO!

birb~ WHAT THE HELL, DK?!

basiclyimonkey: THIS WASNT NECESSARY

hyliannoyed: LMAOOOO

basiclyimonkey: @hyliannoyed THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT

hyliannoyed: okay, who snitched???

hokay: :/

birb~ YO, CHILL, OLD MAN!

coconutgun~ SHUT UP! I’m ‘bout to beat yo’ cawcaw headass!

birb~ Oh, shiAAGGGHH!

agentyee: YO HE LITERALLY GOT C L A P P E D

mrhand~ GAME!

 

mrhand~ DONKEY KONG WINS!

 

**Now in a private channel with @birb**

 

basiclyimonkey: hey <3

birb: <3

basiclyimonkey: u feel better?

birb: yeah now that you’re texting me~

basiclyimonkey: hehe

basiclyimonkey: im omw~

birb: thanks babe

 

**Now in a private channel with @hyliannoyed**

 

birb:

hyliannoyed: lmao sorry

_Read 7:56 PM_

hyliannoyed: WOW OK

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

tactisin: Well that

tactisin:

tactisin: happened

coconutgun: No regrets

birb: that’s fair

basiclyimonkey: NO ITS NOT

rawrxd: so you’re telling me that i missed bird brain getting his guts mixed?

rawrxd: OW WHAT THE

rawrxd: WHY DOES MY HEAD HURT SO MUCH

whatisaidin2013: That’s bc you drank “SO MUCH”

rawrxd: I DONT EVEN REMEMBER DRINKING

whatisaidin2013: You literally say that every time

issame: Get some rest.

issame: Doctor’s orders.

rawrxd: ugggh

 

_rawrxd has gone idle_

 

deadpool:

whatisaidin2013: Thanks, doc

whatisaidin2013: I’ll take it from here

 

_whatisaidin2013 has gone idle_

 

agentyee: i keep forgetting that mario’s a doctor

pkbutter: yeah apparently he can fight in his doctor’s outfit

me2: he literally throws pills instead of fireballs

issame: But I get more powerful!

ocarino: pfft barely

youlionbruh: and slower

tactisin: Additionally, your recovery is rather lackluster.

issame: Okay, okay, you win.

booyah: are you even qualified??

booyah: you just throw giant pills and apparently your patients get “better”

pkbutter: Once, Dr. Mario and I were fighting and I hear someone from the audience say “YEAH GIVE THEM THAT BIRTH CONTROL”

pkbutter: It was really concerning

issame:

issame: I give up.

 

…

 

**Now in Gen Zucc**

 

koopakiddo: @windntrains and I found this card game in the storage room

koopakiddo: who’s in?

heyiceuphere: what’s it called?

koopakiddo: uhhh

windntrains: “Cards Against Humanity”

icestoleyourboo: sounds

icestoleyourboo: controversial

icestoleyourboo: I’m in

imrednotash: I’m in but has anyone seen pit and megaman?

booyah: yeah we should get everyone

agentyee: I’ll find them hold on

 

agentyee: lmao wait wait wait djdjjdjs

letmerest: ??

agentyee: theyre in megaman’s room let me just

 

agentyee~ Ahhh, thank you, Pit. I don’t think I could get anyone else to help straighten out my wire pannel.

agentyee~ No problem! I expected it to be a lot more complicated, though.

agentyee~ Not at all. Just untangling some wires can’t do any harm.

agentyee~ Hey, Megaman?

agentyee~ Yes?

agentyee~ What does this wire do?

agentyee~ Oh, WAIT— AHHHHHHHH~ PIT!~

 

 

agentyee~ D-do you want me to do that again?

agentyee~ Hnngh, please, Pit~ OH! Haaaaah~

agentyee: OK THATS ENOUGH OF THAT DJDNBDIXKD

heyiceuphere: IM SCREAMINGGGG

basiclyimonkey: im speechless

koopakiddo:

koopakiddo: anyway gather to my room if you wanna play cards

agentyee: yeah

agentyee: yeah maybe it’ll unscar me for life

icestoleyourboo: well, if that doesn’t work, wanna watch a movie afterwards? @agentyee

agentyee: sounds good

heyiceuphere: smoooooth

icestoleyourboo: as iceeee~

booyah: we’re all gonna slip at this point

heyiceuphere: @booyah don’t worry

heyiceuphere: i’ll catch you ;)

booyah:

icestoleyourboo:

 

**Now in a private channel with @heyiceuphere**

 

icestoleyourboo: HOLY SHIT BRO

icestoleyourboo: YOU FRIXIJSNJDN FLIRTED

heyiceuphere: WAS IT GOOD????

icestoleyourboo: HELL YEAH IT WAS GOOD

 

**Now in Gen Zucc**

 

agentyee: omggg

agentyee:

agentyee: @booyah u good?

 

_booyah has gone idle_

 

icestoleyourboo: GREAT JOB YOU BROKE HIM @heyiceuphere

heyiceuphere~ But I wanted _him_ to break _me._

heyiceuphere: wAIt NO

heyiceuphere: I DIDNT KNOW VTT WAS ONJSJDJDM

heyiceuphere: HNNNNG B Y E

 

_heyiceuphere has gone idle_

 

ocarino: interesting.

catchthesehands: i made tea for when we play but looks like we already have some lmao

windntrains: ALRIGHT LET’S START

deadpool: hell yeah

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

snaaaaaake: Any idea why the kids are so loud??

proapplecutter: I’m hearing screaming and laughing simultaneously.

bigdaddy: they’ll be fine

justthetip: @proapplecutter Your name angers me

justtheblade: I TOLD YOU, FATHER!!

proapplecutter: You cut fruit with an edge. Blades have edges. Falchion is a blade. I don’t see the problem.

corn: Do you not have the ability to respect a blessed weapon??

justtheblade: ^

justthetip: ^

youlionbruh: ^

fightsforfriends: ^

tactisin: :/ can’t relate

youneedholywater: And this is why I don’t use swords.

roundnedgy: any other reason you speak such nonsense?

hitthatwhip: Please

hitthatwhip: swords are pitiful

marshalllee: You are aware I use a blade, right? @hitthatwhip

hitthatwhip: Did I say swords were pitiful? My hand has slipped.

hitthatwhip: Swords are beautiful*

youneedholywater:

youneedholywater: So, this is how the Belmont line breaks...

hitthatwhip: HOLD YOUR TONGUE OLD MAN

hitthatwhip: I AM RIGHTFULLY ALUCARD’S

marshalllee: I do not own you, I simply love you.

hitthatwhip: Now do you see??

youneedholywater: Yes, yes, I get it.

koopakiddo: sheesh what’s with everyone’s families

bigdaddy: No idea

notmetroid: hmmm i wonder what a family is like

notmetroid:

notmetroid: @ridleymethis

ridleymethis: ALRIGHT, LISTEN

ridleymethis: THAT IS IN THE PAST

ridleymethis: I’M A CHANGED DRAGON NOW

imkingdragon: me, entering tournament 4

imrednotash: at least you learned flare blitz

bringbackvine: yeah, but now he can’t take a giant rock from out of nowhere anymore

shellowhodis: lmao did you even use that rock in fights

imkingdragon:

imkingdragon: no

 

…

**Now in a private channel with @heyiceuphere**

 

booyah: heyyy

booyah: up for a classic path?

heyiceuphere: sure!! i’ll tell nana

booyah: wait

heyiceuphere: ?

booyah: i was thinking just the two of us?

heyiceuphere:

heyiceuphere: why not? i’m down!!

booyah: nice!!

booyah:

booyah: so you’re saying that you’re down to

booyah: smash?

heyiceuphere: omgggg

heyiceuphere: i’m so done

booyah: LMFAO

booyah: well see ya then~

heyiceuphere: bye <3

booyah:

heyiceuphere:

 

**Now in a private channel with @icestoleyourboo**

 

heyiceuphere: iM pANICKING HELP

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The birth control bit came from my classmate saying “Take some Birth Control/Plan B” whenever she used neutral special when playing Dr. Mario… I then proceeded to obliterate her with Lucas.
> 
> SD- self destruct (smash bros version of kms)
> 
> VTT- Voice-to-text
> 
> The [user list](https://astro-aura.tumblr.com/post/181142272231/the-user-list-of-my-smash-bros-fic-as-requested) link should now be fixed!


	5. Need a Hand?

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

mrhand: Alright, @everyone , be aware that another smasher is being invited to the tournament!

agentyee: WAIT MORE FRIENDS??? WHO?

mrhand: That, I cannot tell you.

me2: Wait

me2: Don’t tell me you’re already introducing the fighters that the audience pay additionally to see

jazzhand: HAHAHA

jazzhand: of course not silly

pkbutter: oh thank the heavens

youlionbruh: ^

jazzhand: i mean we sent them the invites but theyll join later

badbinch: MASTER HAND!!

badbinch: YOU GREEDY BASTARD

mrhand: We went closer to debt sooner than I thought, I had to get some profit somehow!!

notmetroid: debt??? frOM WHAT?!

mrhand: Did you actually think someone paid off the mansion’s bills during Crazy’s and my little “family reunion?”

sarasalady: hey @weegeeboard can i quote you?

weegeeboard: okey

sarasalady: “I’d rather forgetti” @mrhand

prekachu: Galeem’s part of your family???

mrhand: Yes, they are my biological parent, in understandable terms…

booyah: ????

bol: but whyd they come tho :(

jazzhand: im betting 1,400,000 coins it’s because we never responded to their texts once we told them we were getting engaged—

jazzhand: D has always been like that!!!

jazzhand: i hate it i hate it so much

jazzhand: uRGHHH FUCK

mrhand: @jazzhand Honey, it’s alright, Kirby and the rest saved us, right?

mrhand: We won.

jazzhand: yeah i know

jazzhand:

jazzhand: <3

mrhand: ///// /////

littlesnacc:

littlesnacc: i feel like i shouldn’t be seeing this who’s with me

mrhand: Those are some bold words for someone who sends Wii Fit Trainer shirtless pics every night…

extremespots: :o

littlesnacc: b y e

heyiceuphere: 2 QUESTIONS

icestoleyourboo: FIRST

agentyee: YOU TWO ARE ENGAGED??

heyiceuphere: SECOND

booyah: ARE YOU SAYING YOU CAN LOOK THROUGH EVERY CHANNEL INCLUDING THE PRIVATE ONES???

mrhand: I never SAID I can, exactly—

jazzhand: lmao yea we’re engaged

nutsalt: W

theyrenotpants: T

waterisnotwet: F??!?!!!!!!

catchthesehands: OOH SINCE WHEN?

catchthesehands: YA GIRL LOVES SOME TEA

mrhand: Since after the Subspace Emissary

basiclyimonkey: So you’re saying...

basiclyimonkey: You took his h a n d in marriage?

mrhand:

jazzhand:

jazzhand: y’all wanna hear the truth?

jazzhand: tabuu was just jealous of M because i’m one thicc glove and he couldn’t get this glussy

 

coconutgun:

coconutgun: yo what the fuck did i just read

mrhand: Crazy…

mrhand: please.

plsprotecc: I just realized—

plsprotecc: Why do you call Crazy Hand by just “Crazy,” but he only calls you “M”

roundnedgy: @mrhand may I?

mrhand: You may proceed.

roundnedgy: crazy hand calling master hand by full-on “Master” sounds uncomfortably submissive in public.

roundnedgy: and, forgive me for eavesdropping on you two, but to quote:

roundnedgy: “You make my heart go ‘Crazy,’ Crazy~”

mrhand:

mrhand: I can’t believe my own Smashers would expose me like this.

mrhand: This is terrible.

basiclyimonkey: H a n d s down?

jazzhand: lmaoooo

mrhand: Enjoy Cruel Smash, you cretin.

basiclyimonkey: WAIT CHILL IM JUST PLAYI

 

basiclyimonkey has gone idle

 

jazzhand: he should’ve stopped

jazzhand: m o n k e y i n g around

mrhand: I should p u n ish all of you.

birb: wait, so it’s only bad if diddy makes puns? :////

mrhand: Want to join him?

birb: nO THANKS IM G

 

birb has gone idle

 

...

 

nutsalt: WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?

theyrenotpants: Someone rang the doorbell

armpit~ Yeah, I forgot the doorbell sounded like a siren.

sureyouken: Why does it sound like a siren—

blackbelt: @mrhand wanted the “Challenger approaching!” vibe.

mrhand: WAIT, THEY’RE HERE ALREADY?

weegeeboard: Mama mia, just tell us who it is

jazzhand: heres a hint:

jazzhand: yall might know them @Mushroom-Kingdom-Bros

 

**Now in Mushroom Kingdom Bros**

 

sarasalady: YES!!! ANOTER REP!

toadstool: Oh, who could it be?

bigdaddy: I think I have an idea

weegeeboard:

weegeeboard: it’s waluigi, isn’t it.

sarasalady: probably

spacequeen: Most likely

toadstool: Yeah…

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

fightme:

fightme: It’s a plant

weegeeboard:

toadstool:

koopakiddo:

bigdaddy:

sarasalady:

spacequeen:

issame:

issame: what

bangbang: He’s not lying

bangbang: We’re literally looking out the window rn

iwillcutyou: it’s in a pot

iwillcutyou: wait wtf

iwillcutyou: WHY DOES IT HAVE SO MUCH TEETH

sarasalady: wait...

koopakiddo: you don’t think—?

 

**mrhand added piranhaplant to Lemme Smash**

 

piranhaplant: yo

bigdaddy:

toadstool:

issame:

weegeeboard:

sarasalady: holup I’m checking this out for myself

mrhand: Congratulations getting into Smash! Feel free to enter the mansion now!

sarasalady: JSKSKIZJZHSNAAAAAAAAAAA

bigdaddy: what wHAT????

weegeeboard: BOO, WHATSA WRONG? @sarasalady

koopakiddo: daisy?

koopakiddo: DAISY?

bigdaddy: omfg she fucking dead

piranhaplant:

piranhaplant: i knew this would happen

 

**piranhaplant changed their name to yesihavefeet**

 

agentyee: waIT LET ME LOOK OUT MY WINDOW

agentyee: omg

agentyee: IT’S SO CUTE

yesihavefeet: !!!!

yesihavefeet: <3

issame: I have to say…

issame: I didn’t expect this.

issame: But welcome to the family!

booyah: are they a guy or a girl tho?

yesihavefeet: no

booyah: and that’s still valid, folks!

me2: welcome to the club

bringbackvine: ^

yesihavefeet: GAAASP

yesihavefeet: @bringbackvine P l a n t B u d d i e s

bringbackvine: !!!! I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL NOW!!!!

bringbackvine: alright bye everyone im hanging out with my new best friend

yesihavefeet: yeet

 

_bringbackvine has gone idle_

_yesihavefeet has gone idle_

 

blackbelt: Finally

blackbelt: A new challenge

mrhand: … Yeah, about that…

sureyouken: huh?

mrhand: They don’t participate in the Ultimate Tournament until February…

jazzhand: so they can just chill til then

proapplecutter: Lucky.

proapplecutter: I’m almost always out there in the arena.

tactisin: Dear, be grateful. At least people LIKE you.

tactisin: Yes, I participate from time to time, but let’s just say I’m not a fan favorite,,,,

littlesnacc: i feel that

spookymazeman: ^

 

...

 

**bringbackvine added yesihavefeet to Gen Zucc**

 

bringbackvine: and here’s the squad, ig

yesihavefeet: daaaamn!!!

agentyee: ayyyyy

booyah: wazzzupppp

heyiceuphere: *finger

icestoleyourboo: guns*

basiclyimonkey:

basiclyimonkey: something’s been bothering me

smolman: What is it?

basiclyimonkey: how would master and crazy

basiclyimonkey: yknow??

hokay: ..?

hokay: oh

hokay: OH

agentyee: W

booyah: would they use the part of a glove where you put your hand in???

icestoleyourboo: maybe it’s deeper

icestoleyourboo: like the part where you put a finger in

armpit~ I don’t like this conversation!

imrednotash: Well, how do you usually

imrednotash: “pleasure” your hand?

koopakiddo: idk??

koopakiddo: massage it?

deadpool: well, no matter how, i have a better question—

 

deadpool: who tops and who bottoms

koopakiddo:

windntrains:

ocarino:

agentyee:

booyah:

heyiceuphere:

icestoleyourboo:

catchthesehands:

imrednotash:

shellowhodis:

bringbackvine:

yesihavefeet:

basiclyimonkey:

smolman:

smolman: Why don’t we ask them?

smolman: @mrhand @jazzhand

agentyee: waIT I DONT THINK THATS

agentyee:

agentyee: a good idea

mrhand: Yes?

jazzhand: sup

mrhand:

jazzhand:

jazzhand: LMAOOO WE’RE BOTH SWITCHES

mrhand: This is really personal! You shouldn’t be invading other people’s priv

mrhand:

mrhand: Nevermind.

jazzhand: despite his name being “Master," he often wants me to top tho jsjsbjsksn

mrhand: STOP THAT.

agentyee: HHHHHH

hokay: what about the first question?

jazzhand: what first question?

smolman: Scroll up

 

mrhand: GALEEM, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?!

jazzhand: b y e

mrhand: I am LEAVING!

mrhand: We have Classic duty to attend to anyway.

jazzhand: i thought you wanted a massage first?

mrhand: CRAZY HAND!!!

jazzhand: idkdjduehdjjx have fun, kids

booyah: LMAO I CAUGHT @pkbutter PINNING @hokay AGAINST THE WALL AND MAKING OUT JXKDBJDJS

mrhand: NOT TOO MUCH FUN—

 

_jazzhand has gone idle_

_mrhand has gone idle_

 

hokay: damn you

booyah: ;P

pkbutter: THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING

hokay: shame on you, inkfucker

icestoleyourboo: i thought @heyiceuphere was the inkfucker lmao

booyah:

heyiceuphere: jsjsksnndjsd dont do this to me sis

heyiceuphere: WAIT YOURE A HYPOCRITE

agentyee: hell yeah she is

booyah: wait

booyah: what

icestoleyourboo: yeah i love my big inky squid gf~

agentyee: <3 <3

heyiceuphere: WH—

heyiceuphere: SINCE WHEN

agentyee: after we played cards against humanity

icestoleyourboo: after the movie i mentioned remember?

smolman: Congratulations, you two!!

icestoleyourboo: awww thanks~

agentyee: ^!

heyiceuphere: wait what did you say????

icestoleyourboo: oh you know just

icestoleyourboo: that she means the world to me and i cherish every single second i spend with her because she makes me enjoy life

agentyee: <3

icestoleyourboo: <3

letmerest: wlw power!!!!!

catchthesehands: *master hand voice* LESBIANS

catchthesehands: WIN!

hokay: we could actually get the perfect inkclimber mlm wlw solidarity if

hokay:

heyiceuphere: ????

booyah: if what?

hokay:

hokay: nothing

pkbutter: nothing

hokay: nothing

koopakiddo: nothing

windntrains: nothing

ocarino: nothing

deadpool: nothing

prekachu: nothing!

imrednotash: nothing.

catchthesehands: nothing,,

letmerest: nothing~

shellowhodis: nothing

bringbackvine: nothing

yesihavefeet: nothing

armpit~ Nothing.

smolman: Nothing.

pit2: nothing.

basiclyimonkey: nothing

mrhand: Nothing.

jazzhand: nothing

booyah:

heyiceuphere:

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

rawrxd: yeah has anyone seen my reflector? i usually keep things in my satchel but a lot of stuff has been scattered everywhere

whatisaidin2013: i might’ve seen it in the cafe, hold on

whatisaidin2013: yep! found it~

rawrxd: oh thank the heavens

rawrxd: you’re the best bf everrr

birb: ha! wrong!

rawrxd: whAT’S THIS? WANNA FIGHT?!?

birb: the best bf is obviously @basiclyimonky

birb: get you a guy that’s both a ball of sunshine and can wreck your shit

basiclyimonkey: BABE!!! <3

blackbelt: Incorrect.

blackbelt: @sureyouken is the best. He’s by my side no matter what.

sureyouken: hahah

sureyouken: “talk is cheap,” remember? FIGHT FOR US

blackbelt: Always.

proapplecutter: Don’t make me laugh! @tactisin can always beat you in a fight and is always by MY side!

tactisin: A tactician is useless without his leader

tactisin: and eternal partner

extremespots: It’s unhealthy to lie, you know…

extremespots: The best example of a boyfriend is @littlesnacc

extremespots: Perfect body, perfect damage output, perfect

extremespots: nvm

littlesnacc: o

littlesnacc: oh

bigswordnrgy: Enough of your false accusations.

bigswordnrgy: The perfect male partner figure is @fightsforfriends

bigswordnrgy: One who fights for the right cause is instantaneously superior.

fightsforfriends: i just fight for my friends

bigswordnrgy: I know this.

bigswordnrgy: And I love you.

hokay: pffft

hokay: are you joking?

hokay: you can’t call your bf perfect if he doesn’t sacrifice his life to save you as payback for when you did the same

pkbutter: oh yeah

pkbutter: it was nothing

hokay: but you are everything~

yesihavefeet: wait you both D I E D ????

pkbutter: bad wario shot him

hokay: some light ball shot him

yesihavefeet: —?????

hokay: we’ll give context later

jazzhand: RRRRRRRR

jazzhand: ALL OF YOU ARE WRONG

jazzhand: @mrhand IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BEING OUT THERE AND THE SWEETEST

mrhand: Awww, C.H.!!!

jazzhand: PLUS HE’S HOT AND HE CAN CREATE ANYTHING I WANT

mrhand: Welp, even only for a moment…

jazzhand: FIGHT MEEEE

proapplecutter: Bet!

bigswordnrgy: B e t.

rawrxd: BET?!?!?

blackbelt: Bet.

extremespots: Bet?

hokay: beT!!!!

birb: BET

mrhand:

mrhand: I guess I can’t say no, huh?

mrhand: Match Declared!

mrhand: Free-for-all! WOLF VS. FALCO VS. RYU VS. CHROM VS. WII FIT TRAINER VS. CLOUD VS. NESS VS. CRAZY HAND

 

_Several smashers have switched channels to Battle Chat Broadcast_

 

triangles: Well, that happened.

agentyee: idek how

notmetroid: that was pretty sad tbh lmao

spacequeen: You know what they say!

icestoleyourboo: and what’s that?

spacequeen:

spacequeen: Tops will be tops~

spacequeen: ;)

 

_Several smashers are typing…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bigswordnrgy — Cloud
> 
> (did you catch that iCarly reference?)
> 
> ft. the headcannon that Lucas pushed Ness out of the way of Galeem's beam like Ness did to Lucas in Brawl


	6. Merry Crisis

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

agentyee: youbetterwatchout

booyah: you better watch out

heyiceuphere: You better watch out

mrhand: ???

youneedholywater: Watch out for what?

icestoleyourboo: You Better Watch Out

pkbutter: YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

hokay: YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!

plsprotecc: Is there a threat to the mansion??

windntrains: YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!!!!

koopakiddo: Y O U B E T T E R W A T C H O U T ! !

justthetip: Can someone explain why

notmetroid: You don’t know?

ridleymethis: NO????

justtheblade: you wanna know?

bigswordnrgy: yES

armpit~ You really wanna know?

interiorcrocgator: WE SAID Y E S

basiclyimonkey:

basiclyimonkey: happy chrimis

birb: iss chrimin

rawrxd: merry crisis

whatisaidin2013: merry chrysler

snaaaaaake: haha, i get it now

fightsforfriends: i dont?!?!

badbinch: It’s Christmas Eve, you fucking nutfaces

literalgoddess: Oh, joy! The spirit of Christmas is always something to be excited about!!!

justtheblade: The first ever present I got for Christmas was my first sword...

tactisin: Uhhh it was wood for those who were gonna ask

hyliannoyed: so

hyliannoyed: you gAVE A CHILD A SWORD—

tactisin: ahem

tactisin: @ocarino

ocarino: hhh

ocarino: yeah he got u there

justtheblade: It’s fine I was like

justtheblade: 6

proapplecutter: luCINA

proapplecutter: STOP EXPOSING US AS BAD PARENTS

justtheblade: But, you’re not…

justtheblade: You two are the best parents I could ever ask for!

tactisin: Really? I thought we were failing miserably—

proapplecutter: same here

justthetip: Have some more faith, my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandson

justthetip: We can play Jenga

justthetip: then you can learn to pull out

proapplecutter: >:O

justtheblade: FIGHT ME OLD MAN

basiclyimonkey: JDISJNSIKXNS

corn: at least you know WHO your ancestors are

corn: all I know is that I’m part dragon

tactisin: kin

justtheblade: Well, now you have me and Kana—

youlionbruh: what about your in-law, Morgan, i think?

proapplecutter: and me

tactisin: and me

justthetip: And me

corn: Thank you, for reminding me

koopakiddo: awww what a wholesome family

bigdaddy: really brings tears to my eyes

bigdaddy: i love you son @koopakiddo

koopakiddo: oMG ILY2 DAD!!!

notmetroid: damn you @ridleymethis if it weren’t for you, everyone wouldn’t be flexing on me

ridleymethis: WE CANNOT HELP THE MISTAKES MADE IN THE PAST

pkbutter:

hokay: sCREW YALL

hokay: YOURE TRIGGERING MY BF'S PTSD

agentyee: i know what’ll take your mind off it!!

 

**Now in Gen Zucc**

 

agentyee: ok guys @everyone

icestoleyourboo: !!!

agentyee: i know exactly how to celebrate this Christmas!

booyah:

booyah: secret santa

agentyee:

booyah: you were gonna say secret santa

agentyee: SPLAT OFF, PONYTAIL

icestoleyourboo: OOH WE NEVER TRIED SECRET SANTA HERE

heyiceuphere: HELL YEAH!!

armpit~ Nice!

armpit:

armpit~ What is Secret Santa?

smolman: It’s an arrangement in which a group of friends or colleagues exchange Christmas presents anonymously, each member of the group being assigned another member for whom to provide a small gift, typically costing no more than a set amount.

armpit~ Wow! Thanks, Megaman! You’re so smart!

smolman: xoxo

pit2: he literally copied and pasted from google

smolman: Shit

hokay: expose him! EXPOSE HIM!! aAAAAH AAAAHHHHH!!!

bringbackvine: my username

agentyee: OK SECRET SANTA RIGHT?

catchthesehands: yEAH BOIII

booyah: how are we gonna pick names if all of us are in?

letmerest: I got an idea—

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

letmerest: Hey @robot do you still have that randomizer function?

robot: AFFIRMATIVE.

letmerest: cool, omw

notmetroid: hm? you guys scheming something?

heyiceuphere: no

icestoleyourboo: yeah

heyiceuphere:

icestoleyourboo:

icestoleyourboo: nope

heyiceuphere: yes

pkbutter: wait why are we saying no

hokay: because APPARENTLY when you’re old you have to steal unique ideas from the youth

snaaaaaake: they were GOOD IDEAS AND SEEMED ENTERTAINING

deadpool: YOU ALWAYS COPIED OFF US

coconutgun: WE’RE NOT THAT OLD

basiclyimonkey: :8

bigdaddy: well, what ARE you guys doing

windntrains: We’re not telling!!!

koopakiddo: Secret Santa

windntrains: bABE

koopakiddo: HES MY DAD I CANT LIE TO HIM??!?!

literalgoddess: It’s kind of ironic that a villain can raise a child better than most parents…

rawrxd: PAH! you can ask Marcus and he can confirm

whatisaidin2013: You ARE quite the role model…

agentyee: ok we told you BUT YALL HAVE TO COME UP WITH YOUR OWN CHRISTMAS SHENANIGAN

issame: That is fair.

letmerest: ALL RIGHT GUYS ROB WILL DM YOU WHO YOU HAVE TO GIVE TO

basiclyimonkey: shit

 

**Now in a private channel with @heyiceuphere**

 

robot: YOU ARE GIVING TO:

robot: MALE INKLING

heyiceuphere: oH FUCK

heyiceuphere: wait has his name not been registered in the data base?

heyiceuphere: he’s just

heyiceuphere: “Male Inkling” ????

_Read 8:34 AM_

heyiceuphere: HHHHH

 

**Now in a private channel with @booyah**

 

robot: YOU ARE GIVING TO:

robot: POPO

booyah: oH FUCK

booyah: welp

booyah: any advice on what to give?

robot: IT HAS BEEN RECORDED THAT POPO LIKES:

  * VEGETABLES
  * ICE
  * CARING FOR HIS SISTER
  * THE COLOR BLUE



robot: DID YOU FIND THIS ANSWER HELPFUL? Y OR N

booyah: n

robot: THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEEDBACK! YOUR RESPONSE HAS BEEN RECORDED FOR FUTURE PURPOSES

booyah: wait why

_Read 8:43 AM_

booyah: WAIT I STILL DONT KNOW

booyah:

booyah: what to do

 

**Now in Gen Zucc**

 

ocarino: lmaooo

ocarino: this is gonna be hilarious

shellowhodis: im scared now thanks

imrednotash: i

imrednotash: have no idea what to give

booyah: same

heyiceuphere: same

agentyee: @icestoleyourboo :3

icestoleyourboo: :3

agentyee: i have a plan kxndksk

 

...

 

**Now in a private channel with @icestoleyourboo and @plsprotecc**

 

agentyee: heyyy isabelle!!!

plsprotecc: Oh! Hi there!

plsprotecc: Do you two need something from me?

icestoleyourboo: yeah actually

plsprotecc: What is it?

icestoleyourboo: it involves the others but most specifically:

icestoleyourboo: my brother

agentyee: and my best friend

plsprotecc:

plsprotecc: I see where this is going. I’m in. Details, now.

agentyee: YESS

icestoleyourboo: alright, now here’s the plan:

 

**Now in Guys and Gals with Guns**

 

badbinch: awww it’s a shame the kids don’t wanna share their idea

basiclyimonkey: broe come up with your own

badbinch: oh shoot

badbinch: i forgot you were in this chat

snaaaaaake: it’s not even a gun

birb: hey cut my bf some slack

birb: it has a trigger, it shoots stuff. it’s a gun

basiclyimonkey: i made it myself and you really think i could make something that can blast a peanut through steel armor? smh

birb: pOP OFF BABE

basiclyimonkey: jdjsjsjdjkd

whatisaidin2013: I mean

whatisaidin2013: You don’t have to use peanuts…

basiclyimonkey: but

basiclyimonkey: a e s t h e t i c

badbinch: i feel that

mrhand: Perhaps we can use one of the rooms we never do…

notmetroid: isn’t there a room with a huge ass screen?

mrhand: The Theater? Yes, why?

notmetroid: movie time, boysss

birb: cool

birb: what movie?

whatisaidin2013: There is only one movie to watch during Christmas

rawrxd: Oh, we got it!

 

...

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

bigswordnrgy: christmas time B)

agentyee: CHRISTMAAAAASSS

snaaaaaake: SHIT IT’S MORNING?!?!?

snaaaaaake: I FELL ASLEEP

snaaaaaake: I WAS SO CLOSE TO CATCHING SANTA IN THE ACT

badbinch: lmao nice one snake

snaaaaaake: huh?? wdym

otaku: hooo boy not again

literalgoddess: She’s referring to the joke you just made.

snaaaaaake: WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM JOKING

snaaaaaake: SANTA CLAUS.

snaaaaaake: IS.

snaaaaaake: REAL.

rawrxd: HAHAHJAHSJ SNAKE STOP I CANT BREATHEJSJHSJ

snaaaaaake:

snaaaaaake: That’s it im done

heyiceuphere: nOOOOO IT CANT BE MORNING

icestoleyourboo: Well bro

icestoleyourboo: it is :/

agentyee: lmao do you still not have your secret santa present????

heyiceuphere: aaaAAAAAAAAGGGH

hokay: we’ll take that as a yes

booyah: hhhhnnng

booyah: s a m e p r o b l e m o

booyah: ok i need to think of something b y e

heyiceuphere: ^^^^

 

_booyah has gone idle_

_heyiceuphere has gone idle_

 

jazzhand: man they really ARE meant for each other sksksksk

reallyfeelingit: ^

gerudonewithyou: ugh i hate slow burns

badbinch: mutual pining my aSS GET A ROOM ALREADY

notmetroid: bAYO, THEYRE NOT EVEN 18

badbinch: that didnt stop @hokay and @pkbutter

pkbutter:

pkbutter: d

 

_pkbutter has gone idle_

 

hokay: yo who tf broke my bf

hokay:

 

_hokay has gone idle_

 

ocarino: oh rip

ocarino: i hope i dont go that far in the gutter

reallyfeelingit: don’t worry, kid

justthetip: You will go FARTHER

hyliannoyed: ykw

 

_hyliannoyed has gone idle_

 

toadstool: Maybe we should stop calling each other out

sarasalady: sis, you know that’ll never happen

toadstool: You’re right LOL

 

plsprotecc: @agentyee @icestoleyourboo I’ve prepped my fishing rod completely!

icestoleyourboo: nice~

agentyee: on our way

mayormaynot: Prepped for what?

plsprotecc: Heehee, why don’t you come to my room and see, Mayor~

mayormaynot:

 

mayormaynot: oh

mayormaynot: haha

mayormaynot: clever

mayormaynot: let me just

plsprotecc: Hm? What’smjdidknenfmk

 

_mayormaynot has gone idle_

_plsprotecc has gone idle_

 

agentyee:

agentyee: well good news 1) it gets people into the “Christmas” spirit and 2) the Rod works

icestoleyourboo: oh this is gonna be fun

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

weegeeboard: mama mia tgat wasa yood kisx

sarasalady: heehee ;P

rawrxd: heh, it hit you too?

dededeeznuts: what’s hitting who???

bol: There’s a stray mistletoe on the loose~~~ ;D

dededeeznuts:

dededeeznuts: //OwO// @roundnedgy

roundnedgy: pfft alright, we'll find it, but after the “movie” people are mentioning

jazzhand: are we finally using that theater room?

littlesnacc: what movie is it??

notmetroid: let’s just say

triangles: Christmas is coming to town

windntrains: ALL ABOARD!!!

extremespots: oh my god

 

**Now in Gen Zucc**

 

koopakiddo: Code doubleblue, I rePEAT CODE DOUBLEBLUE

agentyee: IT’S NOW OR NEVER BOYS

basiclyimonkey: i’ve GOT to record this

heyiceuphere: ???

heyiceuphere: whatever

heyiceuphere: well

heyiceuphere: i dont have time to stress about whatever yall are doing

heyiceuphere: I have my own problems

heyiceuphere: alright here we go

 

_heyiceuphere has gone idle_

 

agentyee: ALRIGHT WHO HAS POPO’S AUDIO COVERED

letmerest: IN POSITION~~

deadpool: AND I GOT CALAMARI BOY’S

agentyee: GUCCI LETS DO THIS

 

deadpool~ Oh, hey, Popo!

letmerest~ U-uh, funny, I was just looking for you!

deadpool~ Really? I was looking for you, actually.

letmerest~ Huh? Why?

deadpool~ Because… because—

letmerest~ Wait, don’t tell me…

letmerest~ You’re my secret Santa?! But I’m YOUR secret Santa?!

deadpool~ You’re kidding!

letmerest~ Ha ha! No!

deadpool~ Hahaha!

 

deadpool~ Popo? What’s wrong?

letmerest~ I…

letmerest~ I-I’m sorry…

deadpool~ Huh? Why are you apologizing?

letmerest~ I couldn’t find a good gift for you… I wanted it to be perfect a-and I was so scared that if you didn’t like it, you would like me less, and I—

deadpool~ Popo, it’s okay! I felt the exact same way— I had no idea what to give you because I… wanted to… win you over? I…

letmerest~ Y-You…

agentyee~ HEY, BOYS! WE HAVE THE PERFECT GIFT YOU COULD GIVE EACH OTHER!

letmerest~ Huh?

icestoleyourboo~ UP TOP! ABOVE YOU!

deadpool~ O-Oh—

deadpool~ Haha, we don’t have to— if you don’t want to, Popo— I mean if you’re not— MMMPFH?!

basiclyimonkey~ I GOT IT! I GOT THE PIC!

basiclyimonkey: [FINALLY.png](https://astrixaura.tumblr.com/post/181388666465/finallypng-the-scene-from-my-smash-bros-fic)

 

...

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

yesihavefeet: ahh i love polar express

bringbackvine: who doesn’t???

spacequeen: Aww, look… the new couple sleeping on each other!

waterisnotwet: we’re less than halfway through the movie

prekachu: talk about w e a k

nutsalt: Well,,

nutsalt: at least they’re finally together!

theyrenotpants: ^

 

**Now in a private channel with @waterisnotwet**

 

theyrenotpants: UGGGHHHHH

waterisnotwet: HHHHHHHNNNG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (pssst click the file diddy sent/ yes i drew it) ;)
> 
> ALSO IT’S ACTUALLY CANON THAT SNAKE BELIEVES IN SANTA CLAUS I AM NOT JOKING
> 
> Merry Christmas, everyone!


	7. You All Saw This Coming

 

**Now in Battle Chat Broadcast**

 

littlesnacc~ GET DOWN FROM THERE, WILL YA?

roundnedgy~ Fight me.

littlesnacc~ That’s what I’m TRYING TO DO!

roundnedgy~ Go off the stage, then. No balls.

littlesnacc~ HUP!

roundnedgy~ Missed.

littlesnacc~ Oh, no.

littlesnacc~ AAAAGGHHH!

 

mrhand~ META KNIGHT…

mrhand~ WINS!

dededeeznuts: SHOW EM BABE

extremespots: welp, at least you tried

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

littlesnacc:

pit2: you should probably stop trying to fight aerial proficient smashers

pit2: just a suggestion

nutsalt: What about muah?

nutsalt: I WOULD have fought you but @sureyouken

sureyouken: oops

jazzhand: yall broke the damn board

jazzhand: dO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT WAS TO MANUALLY FIX

badbinch: don’t you have like

badbinch: magical hand powers?

jazzhand:

 

_jazzhand has gone idle_

 

mrhand: Okay, why is Crazy on my backhand and crying hysterically?

mrhand: Oh.

littlesnacc: I guess I’ll accept

nutsalt: Excellent! Be prepared, tiny man!

littlesnacc: TF DID YOU JUST CALL ME??

mrhand: MATCH DECLARED.

mrhand: INCINEROAR VS. LITTLE MAC

 

**Several smashers have switched channels to Battle Chat Broadcast**

 

booyah: @waterisnotwet @theyrenotpants so yall not gonna watch or…

theyrenotpants: We didn’t talk about you and @heyiceuphere on main before you were together, did we? I thought not.

waterisnotwet: lmao who said we weren’t gonna watch??

waterisnotwet: time to yeet

theyrenotpants: hEY WAIT FOR ME

 

_waterisnotwet has gone idle_

_theyrenotpants has gone idle_

 

heyiceuphere:

heyiceuphere: yALL KNEW???

letmerest: LOVE the fact he implied they were 100% gonna be together

imkingdragon: yikes

 

**Now in a private channel with @rawrxd**

 

5l1ppy: HEY PAPA WOLF!! IT’S MARCUS!!

rawrxd: wHAT THE

rawrxd: HOWD YOU EVEN MANAGE TO CONTACT ME

5l1ppy: i asked uncle slippy if he could get me connected to your channel!

rawrxd: .

rawrxd: Listen boy, Im not even sure if this is allowed

mrhand: Eh, I’ll allow it. He’s family, what could go wrong?

rawrxd: shjdGDHJFD

5l1ppy: See, dad? It’s all gooskosjsjdkdodkkco

rawrxd: uHHH MARCUS?

5l1ppy: kdodosojfk

5l1ppy~ FIERO! GIVE THAT BACK!

5l1ppy~ NUH, UH, LIL’ BRO! LET ME TALK TO PAPA WOLF!

5l1ppy~ UGGGH!

rawrxd: umm fiero???

5l1ppy: Hey pops!!!

5l1ppy: how’s papa fox and the tournament?

rawrxd: Not bad kiddo

5l1ppy: Perfect! marcus and i love watching your matches

rawrxd: you what

5l1ppy: oof slippy’s taking his leave, take care papa!

rawrxd: sure thing

rawrxd: say hi to riley for me

5l1ppy: yup!

 

_5l1ppy has gone idle_

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

rawrxd: You sure its ok to let other people connect to this channel? @mrhand

whatisaidin2013: huh?

whatisaidin2013: What happened?

rawrxd: marcus and fiero just texted me???

whatisaidin2013: WHAT?! AND WHY NOT ME?!!

rawrxd: i guess im the favorite ;P

whatisaidin2013: >:(

mrhand: Yeah, of course it’s okay.

mrhand: Like I said, what could go wrong?

blackbelt: Ignorant fool!

mrhand: Wh—?

pkbutter: yOU JINXED IT

pkbutter: EVERYTHING CAN GO WRONG NOW

corn: You chose your own fate.

tactisin: perish

mrhand: Come on guys, it can’t be that bad!

ocarino~ ScreeEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAGH!

spacequeen: Please

literalgoddess: We’re beggin you.

robot: WARNING! A BREAK IN CHANNEL SECURITY HAS BEEN DETECTED.

ridleymethis: OH

notmetroid: FUCK

agentyee: WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE

whatisaidin2013: No matter who or what is intruding,

whatisaidin2013: DON’T LET THEM GET AWAY.

justthetip: We each need to take them on, at this point.

triangles: STOW YOUR FEAR

triangles: IT’S NOW OR NEVER

armpit~ We’ll win this! I know we will!

 

**joker added joker to Lemme Smash**

 

joker: WHAT’s UP, FUCKERS

mrhand: WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST LET ME ADD YOU?!

joker: FUCK YOU THATS WHY

jazzhand: welcome to smash, joker

pit2: WHO THE HELL JUST BROKE THROUGH THE WINDOW

joker: IT WAS ME, JOKER!!

bigswordnrgy: Was that a goddamn jjba reference

joker: THAT’S RIGHT!!!

badbinch: who the hell is this black-garbage-bag looking sogoddamn fugly he has to wear a mask disrespectful af bastard?

joker:

joker: damn chill i was

 

**joker changed their name to justjokinglmao**

 

pit2:

pit2: that was a terrible joke

roundnedgy: @bol you can put away the warp star, it’s okay

bol: (>_<)

justjokinglmao:

justjokinglmao: i was just trying to make a dramatic entrance

waterisnotwet: ykw i feel that

ridleymethis: SAME

issame: I COULD HAVE DIED AND THEN I PRETTY MUCH DIED

weegeeboard: o dear brother,

weegeeboard: I ACTUALLY DIED

youneedholywater: I’ll take full responsibility for that one…

proapplecutter: well, at least you all HAD introductions—

xenomorph: ^

sarasalady: ^

 

...

 

hokay: umMMM GUYS @everyone

mrhand: What is it?? Is there something wrong?

hokay: tHERES LIKE

hokay: AN ACTUAL INTRUDER

justjokinglmao: HUH WHERE

hokay: IDK WHERE THEY ARE NOW I SAW THEM WALKING THROUGH THE HALLS AND I HID

birb: and what did he look like?

hokay: hE LOOKED LIKE A TOTAL NERD

hokay: HE WAS ALL DRESSED UP LIKE A SCHOOL KID AND HAD GLASSES

hokay: hE MIGHT LOOK LIKE A TOTAL LOSER BUT HES PROBABLY DANGEROUS SINCE HE BROKE INTO THE MANSION

justjokinglmao:

justjokinglmao: tHAT’S ME YOU ASSHOLE

waterisnotwet: kEK

heyiceuphere: LMFAOOOO

deadpool: IM SCREAMINGFJDKXNDJDJ

hokay:

hokay: you’re kidding right?

pkbutter: I CANT STOL LAUGHJNG HELP ME DKDNSKX

catchthesehands: t r a g i c

justjokinglmao:

agentyee: welcome to smash, bro

booyah: there’s good times here

justjokinglmao: uh YEAH i suRE HOPE THERE IS

 

...

 

**Now in Battle Chat Broadcast**

 

waterisnotwet~ Gre! Nin! Ja!

triangles~ Hup!

theyrenotpants: It’s pretty much over

theyrenotpants: Greninja has his final smash

notmetroid: yikes, id hate to say it

triangles~ Ha, WOW! THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT, HONEY!

notmetroid: you’re at 135.6% with one stock left—

waterisnotwet~ Kekekekekek…

waterisnotwet~ **Dis bonjour à la lune, princesse—**

waterisnotwet~ **GRENINININININININJA!**

triangles~ AAAAGH!

mrhand~ GAME!

 

mrhand~ GRENINJA…

mrhand~ WINS!

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

basiclyimonkey: DAAAAMMNN

agentyee: hOLUP DID HE JUST SPEAK FRENCH

letmerest: APPARENTLY

waterisnotwet: hm? what of it?

basiclyimonkey: THAT WAS RAAAAW!!

theyrenotpants: it was

theyrenotpants: really hot

yesihavefeet: uhh @nutsalt you good bro?

yesihavefeet: you dropped your cup dude

nutsalt: j

 

_nutsalt has gone idle_

 

sureyouken: YOU JUST BROKE INCINEROAR

waterisnotwet: iM—

waterisnotwet: IT WASNT THAT BIG OF A DEAL

roundnedgy: pfft

roundnedgy: do not underestimate the power of foreign language

roundnedgy: observe.

roundnedgy: hey @dededeeznuts ?

dededeeznuts: yeah babe?

roundnedgy~ _¿Quieres que te lave?~_

roundnedgy~ _Eres un pájaro sucio…_

roundnedgy~ _¿Verdad?~_

dededeeznuts: h

dededeeznuts~ P-por favor, me gusta.

 

_dededeeznuts has gone idle_

 

rawrxd: lmao i think he fainted

roundnedgy: you see now?

waterisnotwet: arceus

agentyee: ooh

agentyee: @icestoleyourboo

icestoleyourboo: hm? what’s up? <3

booyah: wait idk if

agentyee~ Sqvlsvseelbxlbs!~

icestoleyourboo:

booyah:

waterisnotwet:

roundnedgy:

theyrenotpants:

theyrenotpants:

 

icestoleyourboo:

 

_icestoleyourboo has gone idle_

 

agentyee: heyyy it worked!!!

brrringhaeh: that

brrringhaeh: wasn’t it, cheif

hokay: man, the human language sure has evolved over the approximate 200,000 years, huh?

agentyee: guess i’ll cry

 

littlesnacc: wait

littlesnacc: why does greninja know french?

waterisnotwet: Kalos has very french roots actually

littlesnacc: but still

littlesnacc: don’t ninjas have very japanese roots?

littlesnacc: i’m pretty much asking the same question as: why are there ninjas in france

waterisnotwet:

 

_waterisnotwet has gone idle_

 

theyrenotpants: we need to stop breaking people

gerudonewithyou: Pft

gerudonewithyou: Theyre just weak

bigdaddy: wasn’t that your excusefor why you had to get off your knees?

gerudonewithyou:

 

_gerudonewithyou has gone idle_

 

agentyee: hhhhHHH

coconutgun: well you know what they say

coconutgun: knees weak, arms are heavy

heyiceuphere: there’s ink on my parka already :(

pkbutter: mom…

weegeeboard: SSPAGHETTI

mrhand: I’m disowning all of you.

hokay: that’s fair

agentyee: wait

agentyee: @heyiceuphere where did that ink come from, hm?

heyiceuphere: skdksksoks oh look at the time hAVE TO GO

booyah: mE TOO B Y E

 

_heyiceuphere has gone idle_

_booyah has gone idle_

 

theyrenotpants: GUYS P L E A S E

hyliannoyed: It may as well be all-star smash since EVERYONE’S GETTING DESTROYED

reallyfeelingit: We’re all Galeem

deadpool: WE’RE A L L G A L E E M CHXHSJXJ

falcawwn: Kirby’s gonna survive again since nobody can get dirt on him and he doesn’t even have dirt to begin with

bol: :)

falcawwn: Right? rIGHT?!

bol:

bol: Poyo!~* ;)

 

_bol has gone idle_

 

smolman: I feel like we were defeated…

whatisaidin2013: and it’s all over?

smolman: Yep.

pkbutter: @mrhand I don’t feel so good—

icestoleyourboo: wHO GAVE YOU THE R I G H T TO MAKE THAT REFERENCE

pkbutter: I’m sorry— …

 

_pkbutter has gone idle_

 

hokay: YOU MADE IT WORSE IM NOT OKAY

justjokinglmao: you mean

justjokinglmao: not “h o k a y”?

hokay:

hokay: screw yall

 

_hokay has gone idle_

 

mrhand: Stop that.

justjokinglmao: Who killed Ness?

yesihavefeet: wario, apparently

justjokinglmao: wait what

imrednotash: ness and lucas dont like to talk about it

basiclyimonkey: subspace wasn’t that bad!

birb: <3

weegeeboard:

weegeeboard: no

interiorcrocgator: ddd got karma from me, remember?

basiclyimonkey: still terrifying tho

coconutgun: that was the climax of my life for many reasons

interiorcrocgator: well i always cause your “climax” dont i?

coconutgun:

basiclyimonkey: uHHH DK EXPLAIN WHAT HE MEANS

basiclyimonkey:

basiclyimonkey: DK???

 

_coconutgun has gone idle_

 

deadpool: don’t worry guys i caught his comm

literalgoddess: Here we go again…

 

**Now in a private channel with @theyrenotpants**

 

waterisnotwet: you do realize that so far incineroar probably has more interest in me now, right?

theyrenotpants: Curses

theyrenotpants: We can think of something

waterisnotwet: you’re right

 

theyrenotpants: Are you alright?

waterisnotwet: yeah i just

waterisnotwet: idk

waterisnotwet: i want him to like you as much as i do

waterisnotwet: what if he doesn’t and he only likes me??

waterisnotwet: i don’t think i could accept him if that happened and then everything would be just

waterisnotwet: terrible yknow

theyrenotpants: My love, please don’t worry~

theyrenotpants: I’m skilled with emotions of others, remember?

waterisnotwet: heh

waterisnotwet: you’re right <3

waterisnotwet~ _Je t'aime, chérie~_

theyrenotpants: i

 

_theyrenotpants has gone idle_

 

waterisnotwet: DAMN IT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hooo boy lots to unpack here
> 
> Fiero is an oc from my favorite fan fic pretty much ever, [Falling for a Fox!](https://www.sofurry.com/view/232580/guest) (Careful, it’s a bit… dirty)
> 
> \+ Joker has joined the chat! (Even if i probably cant get him in game)
> 
> The Lucario image isn’t mine, so full credit goes to the creator!
> 
> THE LANGUAGES ARE PROBABLY WRONG AND I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE BUT I PRETTY MUCH WANTED TO SAY:
> 
> Greninja: Say hello to the moon, princess—  
> Meta: You want me to wash you?~  
> Meta: You’re a dirty bird…  
> Meta: Right?~  
> Greninja: I love you, sweetheart~
> 
> bet you can’t list all the references you got in the comments >:)


	8. Pardon?

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

booyah: that tabuu bitch sounds like a bitch

sanic: i mean

sanic: you’re not wrong

jazzhand: fuck tabuu

mrhand: …

jazzhand: look ik what youre gonna say

jazzhand: but just bc he made me find out i like chains doesn’t mean you can call me out

jazzhand: shit

badbinch: we don’t shame in this house, don’t worry, darling

extremespots: In fact, some of us like being shamed, right, @littlesnacc ?

littlesnacc:

 

deadpool: caught it—

bigdaddy: damn he was more exposed than shulk’s alternate outfit

reallyfeelingit: Yeah why is that even a valid option for me to have @mrhand

mrhand: The more views we get, the more glory and prize you guys get…

reallyfeelingit:

reallyfeelingit: pfft who needs armor

fightsforfriends: What a sellout

bigswordnrgy: ^

youlionbruh: why are you two talking?

fightsforfriends: what do you mean?

snaaaaaake: Ike has the ability to look younger if he wants to

blackbelt: and Cloud can look different as well

issame: Most of us just change clothes.

koopakiddo: Y’all are laaaame

corn: @justtheblade Dear, you’re sweating profusely…

justtheblade~ S-so close…

justtheblade~ I could’ve been…

justtheblade~ Just a costume.

falcawwn: @proapplecutter you’re welcome for getting your daughter in smash

proapplecutter: You literally broke my bones so hard I could only help Robin with his final smash

tactisin: and you still do…

tactisin: I could expect you to even beat yourself up if I was against you in a match haha

mrhand:

mrhand: Haha, yeah.

 

**Now in a private channel with @theyrenotpants**

 

nutsalt: Ayeeee Lucario you busy?

theyrenotpants: No, not really,,,

nutsalt: cool ~

nutsalt: Because I was wondering why you just stay still when you’re in the training room…

theyrenotpants: Hm?

theyrenotpants: Oh, that!

theyrenotpants: I’m meditating

theyrenotpants: It helps me handle the power of aura

nutsalt: Mind if you show me?

nutsalt: It sounds dope!

theyrenotpants: Heh, not an issue

nutsalt: Hell yeah!

 

**Now in a private channel with @waterisnotwet**

 

theyrenotpants: aaaaAAAAAAA

waterisnotwet: IS IT INCINEROAR RELATED?

theyrenotpants: UH HUH

waterisnotwet: gOoD lUcK baBe hAve FuN

 

_waterisnotwet has gone idle_

 

theyrenotpants: GRENINJA HELP ME I SWEAR TO ARCEUS

 

**Now in Gen Zucc**

 

agentyee: @shellowhodis @bringbackvine so…

bringbackvine: shoot

agentyee: what does the inside of those pokeballs look like?

shellowhodis: pretty sure it’s different for each type of pokeball but—

bringbackvine: it’s like a little apartment

imrednotash: wait really?

catchthesehands: like a how-many-stars apartment?

shellowhodis: at least like 3

bringbackvine: Why u asking? @agentyee

agentyee: no reason

booyah: i dont like that

booyah: @icestoleyourboo hey could you keep an eye on her thanks

icestoleyourboo: of course but why cant u do it??

booyah: im doing stuff

heyiceuphere: and i plan on being “stuff” tonight sksksk yEET BYE

icestoleyourboo: POPO NO

booyah: oh

 

_heyiceuphere has gone idle_

_booyah has gone idle_

 

armpit~ My ears… my angelic ears…

basiclyimonkey: wow

agentyee: i

agentyee: hopefully when i enter that pokeball i can forget that happened

icestoleyourboo: wait what

 

_agentyee has gone idle_

 

icestoleyourboo: BABE NO

 

_icestoleyourboo has gone idle_

 

hokay: PFFT OKAY THEN

yesihavefeet: don’t worry

yesihavefeet: ivy said that pokenons can’t go into pokeballs

pkbutter: is that what they’re called?

pkbutter: not pokemon are pokenons?

catchthesehands:

catchthesehands: how am i qualified to be a trainer i dont know this stuff

 

**Now in Training Room Trash**

 

theyrenotpants~ Go ahead.

theyrenotpants~ Hit me.

nutsalt~ You sure? ‘Cuz I don’t think— ROAR!

theyrenotpants~ A sneak attack? Too bad I countered.

theyrenotpants~ And now you can’t do much, huh?

nutsalt~ Errrrgh.

theyrenotpants~ Reach me with that hand. Reach me with that hand—

nutsalt~ Hnph!

theyrenotpants~ You cannot.

nutsalt~ Uggghhhh.

 

**waterisnotwet has entered Training Room Trash**

 

waterisnotwet~ Yo.

waterisnotwet~ Oh.

waterisnotwet~ Was I interrupting something?

nutsalt~ Heyyy, Greninjaaaa…

theyrenotpants~ It’s not what it looks like!

waterisnotwet~ Deararceusthatwassohot.

nutsalt~ Huh? Did you say something?

waterisnotwet~ No, why?

waterisnotwet~ Anyways, how’s training?

theyrenotpants~ Great so far, but he needs to work on fighting quick opponents…

nutsalt~ Can’t I just tank the hits?

waterisnotwet~ Ha! That’s what they all say, until they see that they’re at 125% before flying off to meet Arceus himself.

theyrenotpants~ So, what are you up to?

waterisnotwet~ Just dropping in, I don’t really know.

waterisnotwet~ If you guys are busy, I can take my leave.

nutsalt~ Wait!

waterisnotwet~ Hm?

nutsalt~ I mean— uhhh— I wouldn’t mind having… you two… teach me some tricks…

waterisnotwet~ Of course, if that’s what you desire…

waterisnotwet~ Ohyesyesyesyesyes…

theyrenotpants~ Okaywecandothiswecandothis…

nutsalt~ Hey, you guys gonna just stand there and mutter all day or are you gonna help me out?

theyrenotpants~ Oh! Our apologies! We’re coming!

waterisnotwet~ ButwewouldratherhaveyoumakeuscomeifyouknowwhatImean—

waterisnotwet~ OW! W— Lucario?!

nutsalt~ HAHAHAHAHA!

theyrenotpants~ Just warming up your quick reflexes!~

waterisnotwet~ I’ll get you for that!

nutsalt~ Catch us if you can, Frog!

 

**Now in Being High Rules**

 

hyliannoyed: And we were mates!

triangles: Oh Hylia they were mates.

ocarino: Is this about Sidon or Revali

gerudonewithyou: i thought he was talking about ghirahim

windntrains: lmaooo

hyliannoyed: hey

hyliannoyed:

triangles: ???

hyliannoyed: i got nothing honestly

windntrains: gee link! how come existing in multiple timelines let you have 20 different partners?!

hyliannoyed: suck it

ocarino: why

ocarino: you have like 20 different partners to do that for you

hyliannoyed: hey

hyliannoyed:

triangles: So @ocarino how’s skull kid

ocarino: he’s holding up well, having to wear that mask just so he could lend some assist during matches…

triangles: No I meant

triangles: your relationship?

ocarino: oh.

ocarino: he’s

ocarino: lovely

ocarino: yeah

ocarino:

 

_ocarino has gone idle_

 

windntrains: well there goes him daydreaming again

 

**Now in Battle Chat Broadcast**

 

heyiceuphere: GO GET HER, BAE

booyah~ I didn’t expect a goddess to fall so easy!

literalgoddess~ I’ll show you the light, how’s that?

booyah~ WOAH! Thank the heavens my eyebrows can’t be singed off…

literalgoddess~ I don’t think the heavens are on your si– AAAGHHH~

booyah~ Wh— what is happening?

heyiceuphere: why is palutena on the floor?

literalgoddess~ Oh…OH!~ Haaah! Ngh!

badbinch: Hm? What’s the matter, dearie?

literalgoddess~ B-Bayo! AAAH~ TURN IT OFF!

badbinch: Oh? Turn what off?

whatisaidin2013: You didn’t.

badbinch: Oh I did

heyiceuphere: uhh did what??

rawrxd: it’s nothing, kid just uhhh

booyah~ I’m just gonna…

literalgoddess~ Oh!~ Fuck!

booyah~ Okaaaaay…

 

mrhand~ No contest.

 

**Now in Lemme Smash**

 

whatisaidin2013: Ok so

whatisaidin2013: Why? did you give her

whatisaidin2013: that?

hokay: WHAT DID SHE GIVE PALUTENA?

badbinch: No need to plug in to our conversation… ~~~~~

hokay: ???

hokay: oh

hokay: oH MY GOD

hokay: bAYO NO

pkbutter: wHAT WHAT IS IT?

hokay: hhh remember that

hokay: thing we were testing during mario and falco’s match?

pkbutter: …?

pkbutter:

pkbutter: NOOOOOO!

pkbutter: @badbinch YOU TURNED IT ON MID MATCH????

badbinch: If a witch makes a bet, you best believe she’ll use the prize

armpit~ Lady Palutena, are you alright?!

literalgoddess: Now, I am.

literalgoddess: Hhhhhh

armpit~ What… happened?

basiclyimonkey: let’s just say bayonetta pulled her pink wire,,

smolman: Oh my god, tHAT WAS PRIVATE

armpit~ W— I don’t know exactly what you mean but…

armpit~ Mid-match?!

badbinch: You got it, babey

pit2: why

badbinch: she made a bet

badbinch: she lost

badbinch: you know the drill

notmetroid: i guess that’s fair

booyah: thanks

booyah: now i cant unsee that

heyiceuphere: :(

heyiceuphere: movie? :) @booyah

booyah: yeah~

agentyee: @heyiceuphere I see that you learn from the best

agentyee: @icestoleyourboo

icestoleyourboo: <<<3333 love you sooo much

justjokinglmao: is it just me or am i lonely in this chili’s tonight

ridleymethis: PARDON ME, BUT WHAT IS A CHILI’S?

justjokinglmao: WHY ARE YOU IN ALL CAPS

ridleymethis: BECAUSE,

ridleymethis: I ACCIDENTALLY BROKE THE SCREEN SLIGHTLY WITH MY CLAWS AND NOW IT’S STUCK IN CAPS LOCK.

mrhand: Why didn’t you just tell me?! I could’ve fixed that ages ago! Plus, I thought you were just typing like that.

ridleymethis: I WOULD RATHER NOT BE MUCH OF A BOTHER TO OTHERS, IF I’M BEING HONEST.

notmetroid: you bothered me a LOT actually

ridleymethis: MY APOLOGIES. I WAS JUST WORKING ON BUSINESS MATTERS EXCEPT YOU KEPT SHOWING UP FOR SOME REASON.

notmetroid: uH NO

notmetroid: Y O U KEPT SHOWING UP FOR NO REASON

mrhand~ *Snap*

ridleymethis: I firmly believe that was not the case.

ridleymethis: Woah.

notmetroid:

ridleymethis: Thank you for fixing it, Master Hand.

mrhand: No problem.

xenomorph:

xenomorph: I don’t like it.

ridleymethis: Pardon?

imkingdragon: thATS WEEIIIRRRD

ridleymethis: What’s weird?

bigdaddy: you typing

bigdaddy: “correctly”

ridleymethis: There’s a correct way to type?

ridleymethis: Oh!

ridleymethis: Did you mean proper English and grammar?

ridleymethis: I think communication should be sharply defined, as miscommunication is less likely to occur.

notmetroid:

notmetroid~ AaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

 

_notmetroid has gone idle_

 

ridleymethis: I can’t see the problem.

triangles: Link this is so sad, play song of storms

ocarino: i have my ocarina

windntrains: i have my wind waker

hyliannoyed: i can

hyliannoyed: oh no wAIT!!!!

hyliannoyed: cAN I STILL TURN INTO WOLF LINK??

gerudonewithyou: well do you have that shadow crystal?

hyliannoyed: I THINK ITS IN MY ROOM

 

hokay: lmao did he just trip

hyliannoyed: SHUT UP I GOT IT

duckdoggun: Woah

duckdoggun: I didn't expect it to work

windntrains~ Ready?!

ocarino~ ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪—

windntrains~ ♪♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪♪~

hyliannoyed~ AWOOooOOO~

rawrxd~ Grnghhh—

theyrenotpants~ M-must not… rrrgh…

birb: Oh no, not again.

nutsalt: What’s wrong with Lucario??!?!?

mayormaynot: Isabelle?

duckdoggun~ AWOOoOoooo~

theyrenotpants~ AwoOOOO awoOOOO~

plsprotecc~ AwOOoOooOooOOO~

rawrxd~ AwooOooOOOO—

hyliannoyed~ Awoooooo…

me2:

me2: Not bad…

hokay: BOP!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> duckdoggun - Duck Hunt
> 
> If you’re wondering why it took longer to upload than usual, it’s bc a busy break happened—
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me!


End file.
